Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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