Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
