let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
