I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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