He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
