I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
