Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
