Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
