So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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