he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
