let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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