my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
