Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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