I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
