I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
