If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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