On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
