you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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