his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
