I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
