its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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