I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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