just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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