oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
