She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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