Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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