Will you blow on my dice?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
