You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize