i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
