dude i'm inner monologue high
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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