My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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