He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
