Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
