I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
