I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
