he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
