Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
