Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
