cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
