Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Damn victory sex feels great
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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