I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
