i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize