just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
