This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
