Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
