I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
