quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
