you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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