MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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