Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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