You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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