your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
