I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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