i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He has the fingertips of a God
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