Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
