It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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