Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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