She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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