If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
