My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
