Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
