quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
