Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
