I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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